THE TOUGHEST PART OF PLANNING

Finally, even if you are confident that your daughter does not use either alcohol or recreational drugs, you're sure to get objections when you bring up a critically important subject: Preventing unacceptable behavior at her Sweet Sixteen party.

We're all smart enough to know that in today's world, "It can't happen here" is not a statement of fact; it's simply wishful thinking.

Trying to prevent kids from having access to drugs and alcohol at her party is essential. So, too, is seeking to avoid other potential problems, such as teens sneaking off to have sex, or damaging property.

Make it absolutely clear that you will not tolerate these types of behaviors. Let your daughter know exactly how you will respond should any problems arise. Give her plenty of time before the party to talk to her friends and let them know the ground rules.

Despite predictable protests that you're being too restrictive or over-protective, your daughter will be grateful. She'll appreciate having a caring parent who's in charge and who's committed to everyone's well-being.

Reinforce that commitment. Tell her, "We want this party to be fun. But we also want you to be able to look back on your Sweet Sixteen and have only wonderful memories."

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