SELECTING HER OUTFIT

Shopping for a Sweet Sixteen dress for a teenage girl can be fun. It also can turn into a battle of wills, especially if your daughter wants to wear a dress that you feel is too revealing.

It's fine for you to disagree with her choice and to try to steer her away from a particular dress. Just be sure to phrase your objections in terms of the dress, not her. Tell her you think that a particular style is unsuitable for any girl her age, or for the occasion.

Don't attack her judgment. "Gently voice your opinion, but not in a harsh way," advises Bartell.

Suggest that you both look at other styles or see what's available at other stores. Try to keep it positive--e.g., "I'm sure we'll find dresses you'll love even more and that will look fantastic on you."

CHOOSING THE DANCE MUSIC

Another issue that can cause conflict is the choice of music. Unfortunately, some songs by popular artists offer up profanity, references to sex, and the glorification of violence—sometimes, all in the same song.

This is a tough one. Parents may not know what is the popular teenage music at the moment or what any particular song is about. But your DJ will. If you have concerns, sit down with your daughter and with the DJ. Ask for guidance and suggestions.

"You may have to compromise and allow the DJ to play at least some teenage music you're not happy about," says Bartell. What's important is to use the discussion about music teenagers are listening to and reinforce the values that are important to you and your family, she advises.

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