Spark excitement sensibly

Instead of bringing home a dog or cat, give a gift certificate along with a book to help the child begin thinking about the pet he or she wants. You can pre-pay the adoption fees at a shelter or put money toward the purchase of a pet, if you wish.

Most important, let the child help select the pet. "When kids aren't involved in the decision-making, 90% of families end up returning the animal," says Bernstein.

What's more, she continues, "it's amazing how wrong parents can be about what kind of animal their kid wants. Nine times out of ten families leave the shelter with an animal that's different than the one they would have selected."

Umber agrees. "All family members should participate," he maintains, adding that no one should ever choose a pet for another person.

General guidelines

The key to selecting the right pet is to approach the entire process with thought and care. Talk to local experts. Describe your family and lifestyle. Do you live in a house or an apartment? Does your family travel a lot? Is someone home most of the time?

If your child is young and has his or her heart set on a dog, consider some of the general advice about appropriate breeds. Bernstein notes that a dog's personality is determined more by nurture than nature. Picking the right pet usually has more to do with the individual dog than its breed, she maintains.

Still, there are widely accepted guidelines. "Smaller dogs like Dachshunds and Chows are not recommended," Umber maintains. "Neither are herding breeds like Australian Shepherds. And Siberian Huskies are high maintenance and need constant attention."

Bernstein adds that in general, Wheaten Terriers and Poodles can be difficult to handle, and Chihuahuas tend to bite. Jack Russell Terriers are particularly high strung. Pomeranians also can be quite challenging for a family with young children, she contends.

Both Umber and Bernstein agree that mixed breed dogs are more even-tempered and also tend to have fewer chronic illnesses than purebreds.

The right time

When you finally take the family to the animal shelter or pet store, look at a number of possible pets. Spend time letting the kids interact with them. For example, Bernstein points out, a large, friendly golden retriever jumping up to kiss a 5-year-old could be terrifying for the child. "Your child may go to the shelter wanting a dog and come out with a cat," she contends.

You may also realize that the time isn't yet right to bring an animal into your home. If you sense hesitation on the part of the child or other family members, do your family and the animal an enormous favor: Agree to come back a bit later.

Perhaps during the coming year, the time will be right. In a few more months, perhaps everyone will be better prepared to embrace the responsibilities of pet ownership and to choose the right pet for the family.

Then, this time next year, you can send out those photo-cards of your own cute kids with their cute, happy, well-cared-for, and beloved pet.

[Note: For an excellent article on teaching children how to interact with puppies and dogs, see Dogs and Holidays, from the American Kennel Club.]

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